The Mother Wound: The Collective Path of Martyrdom

(This is an intricate observation of many hundreds of my female clients throughout my career as a Transpersonal Therapist working with Blueprint Transformation)

Martyrdom and Anti-Martyrdom are equally harmful extremes. Which is your chosen poison?

I see it every day.

An extreme of either one of these two:

  • Severe Independence and Self-sufficiency

  • Severe Victimhood

And no, neither of these are packaged in an outstanding, obvious way. It’s more of a lifestyle, uneasily detected from the outside, yet these are the most harmful of all factors which a woman can suffer from unknowingly. It keeps you from deep joy – or any joy at all at times.

When I spoke in detail to my partner about this topic, he said,

“Babe, this is where books come from.”

The reason this was his response, is because I told him while I am in session with my clients, I don’t speak to them about the mass consciousness which underlies each singular individual’s life.

In session, we go through individual experiences, processing old belief systems and patterns. We speak about what directly influences the subconscious driving their day to day actions, as well as the reason for why their life is giving them the life they have.

We don’t get into topics about the mass consciousness of women or men, and how the greater program is embedded within their consciousness.

Few have the immediate capacity to recognize and accept this as a factor in their lives – YET – it is like a slow oil spill into the ocean of their life.

So – this is what writing is for – so I can tell you about my discoveries and observations about what harmful oils are running into your ocean of consciousness, as well as your neighbour’s, through cultural and sexual conditioning.

It has to be reiterated again and again.

I mean this in both the mass consciousness for women, as well as men.

This particular piece is about women.

Your Blueprint is designed through your beautiful bodily vessel and subconscious brain which interpreted your reality as from infancy and childhood (nutshell, much).




Many women observed their Mothers as being submissive and exerting minor victim roles – maybe they were financially beholden and reliant on their husbands, or fearful of consequence of expression, speaking up or the like.

It’s common for women to observe their mothers as hard workers, with little to show for it at the end of the day.

Maybe the client saw her mother as being oppressed or feeling guilty about asking for things, feeling guilty about working and leaving the home, the kids, in order to pay the rent and food.

The undertone of the household play a large part of the designing the foundation of your Blueprint which you run on during your life. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a surface observation or event, but rather the undertone, atmosphere and feeling within the home life.

I always say;
“Facts don’t matter,
Feelings do.”
This means that, regardless of what was intended or meant by those around you, it only matters how you felt.

The subconscious can be a scary place – as it goes directly against what you would consciously want. This happens when women are hitting blocks, walls and glass ceilings and they just don’t understand why they aren’t getting further or why the same patterns keep occurring.


If the number 1 point is extended on, observing the mother, I would find a female client come to me with either;

- An acceptance and embedded understanding that women are the inferior sex and that males are there to be providers, superiors and decision makers.

- This would give my client characteristics of

1) Seeking approval through actions or words (reassurance that you are worth having in the home)

2) Not gaining independence or internal support from themselves when there is no male around

3) Basing their worth on relationships where they are taken care of and financially dependent

4) Unconsciously seeking out authority and dictation from friends, family and male relationships

5) Unable to make independent decisions that are sustainable


With a Blueprint childhood atmosphere like this, some women turn to being severely AVERSE to playing any form of Martyr or Victim – at any costs. She makes a promise to herself to never be a martyr or victim as her mother was. This may seem positive, but is probably the most harmful of all.

It would look something like this:

6) Severe independence and constant busyness

7) Non-trusting and closed off to help and assistance

8) Unable to allow or ask for help

9) Bottle up emotions and are unable to allow expression

10) Take the lead role in relationships

11) Make themselves superior and exude judgement

I could go on for DAYS.

The lists of behaviors, patterns and subconscious approaches to life are endless with each individual.

The reason I feel I need to share this specific point on the topic regarding mass female consciousness,

Is that the old roles of what society has deemed male and female, has had a catastrophic influence on both men and women – which would both lead to very unbalanced and limiting lives as adults.

It is time to really question what has influenced you on a mass level through your individual family lineages, environments and experiences.

THIS MAKES UP YOUR OPERATING SYSTEM and there is no need to subscribe to any form of limitations any longer.

This is the tip of the ice berg, yet it is paramount to introduce it to you in my own work in observation of my clients.

Feel like joining the revolutionary journey? Find the 12 Month Deep Immersion Journey for Women here : Luminous Living Program.

Want to begin changing your own Blueprint?

Find your program here.












121 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All